GREG: Yeah, break those down. I mean, I think the first two — credibility, reliability — I think we get those. I don't know if I understood approachability, so let's come back to that one, what that means. But I think also too over self-orientation, I think is the one that you ... When I've heard you say this before, it felt like it threw me for a loop. I had to then stop and think. Yeah, so go ahead. Break it down.
DAVE: Well, there's a reason why it's the denominator, and so it is the inverse of self-orientation. So first I'll talk about it in terms of team and then about brand. Self-orientation means I'm in it for myself. The opposite of self-orientation is I'm in it for the team.
GREG: Self-centered to the extreme. It's only about me. Yeah. Okay. Got it.
DAVE: Said the other way, I play for the front of the jersey versus the back of the jersey. Am I in it for the team?
GREG: Oh my God. I've never heard anybody say that that way. I love that. I love a good sports one.
DAVE: Yeah. We always go back to sports. So the team orientation's important. I also think that that translates into really great brand building. The brands that are about the customers that they serve or the communities that they serve or the stakeholders that they serve and not in it just for themselves, even though we have fiduciary responsibility to grow our companies and to be successful, but those brands that put the customer quote at the center, but also orient their work around customer success, those are the ones that I think are the enduring brands for the future. And so I've thought a lot about this trust framework and this trust equation in a lot of the work that we do. I think it's bananas for anyone to not have a coach at any level of their career. And for some reason, we don't invest in it as individuals and few teams actually invest in growing people's careers with coaches.
That's a thing that has to change. For me, the personal experience was actually in my last job at GitLab. We had a new CMO come in and her entire focus was to create the highest-performing marketing team. She knew that the way to do that was to bring a team coach in. So it wasn't actually an individual coach, it was a team coach that worked with us as a team to establish frameworks for becoming high performing. I'll talk to you about one of the frameworks in a second. It's not the trust equation. It's a different way and it's good advice that I've gotten and how I lead. And so what she would do is she came in, coached us as a unit, and then coached us individually within that unit. Each of us has different motivations, each of us has different strengths and weaknesses and opportunities to grow and all of that. And in the process over about two to three years, had created, if not the best marketing leadership team that I've been a part of, one of the top ones. It was a transformative experience.
GREG: Was Katrina the coach for that or no?
DAVE: Katrina was the coach for that. One of the things that she introduced us to was what's called the Tuckman model of high-performing teams. Most people have never heard of that. What they have heard of is forming, storming, norming, and performing, which is a typical way that teams develop over time. What she did was she introduced us to that concept, gave us a way of thinking about it, and then a way of thinking you don't become high performing unless you know how to conflict as a team. Unless you know how to mine for conflict, find conflict, and get through it together as a team. And so that's what she led us through.
GREG: Wait, wait. They're telling you that you're looking for conflict in some regards?
DAVE: That's right. Because conflict occurs. It's everywhere.
GREG: What does that mean, though, looking for conflict? I mean, that sounds a little bit like two men go into the Thunderdome, one man comes out kind of thing. Is that ...
DAVE: (laugh) It's not that.
GREG: Were you doing a gladiator thing on this, Dave? What do you mean? No, what's the conflict that they're kind of advocating for? It's obviously not open warfare in a business. So what does that mean?
DAVE: Any organization, any team, is going to have inherent conflict. The question is, is it above or is it below? Do you bring it into the room and have discussion about it and you mine for conflict and then resolve your way through?
GREG: Okay, okay.
DAVE: Or do you not talk about it in the room, and then around the water cooler you're having that kind of conversation? So it's about bringing that conflict so that the team can actually go through it. But the core premise is this, is that most people, including myself, are conflict averse.
GREG: Some are, yeah. I live in New York. I actually like conflict, but go ahead. Yeah. I know there's other sides.
DAVE: But a lot of people are really conflict averse. I mean, it is both emotionally hard and physically. You can actually feel it and it feels uncomfortable for a lot of people. And so practicing conflict as a team with a great coach to facilitate your way through it, [it's] almost like therapy.
GREG: I actually have a psychologist on retainer at the MMA.
DAVE: Oh, wow.
GREG: I've now told at least a couple hundred people, probably, that. And you know what's funny, Dave? I've never once heard anybody say, "Oh yeah, we do that." But I don't know how or why a company would go through without that. It's nuts to me. And listen, I use him for two things. One is to understand the decisions I'm making. Am I making those decisions based on the best of the information I have without as much bias as I can, without my own pathology in there, which is basically what therapy's supposed to get at, pathology. And then I also use him to give me feedback. Most of the time, he may have talked to somebody else who's got a complaint, but I'm going to be the problem or I'm the one who needs to change because it's my job to make the company work. It's not their job per se to change, although maybe they're better off that they do that, that's different point.
But it's my job to go change. So I need to find out well then what's the move or what's the understanding and how do I need to know how to approach that person? But you're right to the point that we don't really spend that time doing it. And let's also recognize too that for most employees, work is a complicated thing. They've got stress outside work in their life. They've got, I don't know, bills, bullshit, kids, whatever. I mean, there's a whole series [of things] — husbands, wives — there's a whole raft of things that can happen that then get brought into work, probably not super productive. And it's just a company's meant to be productive. It's not here to be a feel-good family, although I guess they can create that environment, but that's not the intent. It's a commercial dynamic. And he's available to pretty much really anybody in the company who wants to call him and say, "I need to run something by you.
I want to get a perspective. I need to have a difficult conversation with Greg. How should I have it?" Whatever it might be.
DAVE: Could you imagine fielding a baseball team without a coach?
GREG: Oh, it'd be insane.
DAVE: It'd be chaotic. They'd lose all the time. I think it's bananas that the business world hasn't adopted that mentality, number one. And number two —
GREG: I know. Why aren't we helping people? Why aren't we helping them with professional help to get things right? A coach is maybe a variation of a psychologist. I mean, it's a different approach, my psychologist does a particular thing, but —
DAVE: I think they are ... I was going to say two sides of the same coin. I actually think that ... So I'm married to a therapist, so you should know that about my background.
GREG: Oh, that's funny. There we go.
DAVE: So by osmosis, I take a lot in from what I hear. And the distinction between a credentialed therapist and an amazing executive team coach is very blurry in terms of the way that they approach it. And it's all based on psychology and understanding what makes people tick. And this is where it gets back to my own personal mission, which is in order to unlock people's potential, they need coaching to help them through it.